Aka some of my pet peeves…
1. Reciprocity – if someone treats you to a meal, TREAT THEM BACK. I know there’s the idea that “you don’t owe anybody shit” but you kind of do sometimes…It doesn’t have to be the next day and it doesn’t have to be a meal for a meal, but I guarantee, the person who treated you will remember forever and ever that they treated you at some point and you have yet to return the favor.
Oh, they brought you tangerines and Gatorade when you were sick? Imma take you out to dinner, because it just feels right.
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. REFERENCE??
2. Don’t pester a person about their internships or jobs. If they got it or want to share that they didn’t get it or that things are or aren’t going well, they will talk about it if they want to. Unless you are a good friend, they don’t need some advisor breathing down their backs, asking “when do you hear back from —??” I DON’T GODDAMN KNOW BUT I’LL BE SURE TO LET YOU KNOW!!!!
Update: I’m employed for the summer but don’t mean it isn’t still an issue…
3. If you see someone you know, be the first one to approach them. You have nothing to lose. It’s much better to be the person to say hi than to be the one who awkwardly has to pretend you didn’t see them and then awkwardly say hi and then awkwardly feel like the lesser person.
4. When you say hi to someone, say “Hi + their name.” Even if it’s a quick second, they know that you know their name and that you have taken the time to learn it or just add in those extra syllables.
5. Praise in public, punish in private.
6. You can never say thank you too many times, but you CAN say sorry too many times. An influx of thank you’s only shows that you are continuously grateful, whereas “sorry” over and over again will just remind the person of what you may or may not have done wrong. Just make up for it with actions, not words. Ddedeedeerrrppp
7. Bros before hos…aka friends before sexual people who mean nothing in the long run
8. Ok, I get drunk and sometimes I’m a little belligerent, sometimes I cry, sometimes I’m a little sloppy, sometimes I blow chunks. But don’t get sloshed every single time to the point that you can’t stand up and you become a sloppy slut that everybody secretly hates drinking with unless you’re still in high school because 1) you just drink all of the alcohol and 2) you fucking suck.
9. Don’t be a mooch. Seriously.
10. Stay cool.