When it comes to rejection, I just don’t like it. But my friend and I had a food date the other day at Panera, and he was telling me about this epiphany he had. (Quick food note: the mac n cheese at Panera is unreal). Apparently, he was talking to his former advisor about the future, which is well understood by seniors in college. This professor, who also happens to be my current advisor, told him not to worry about being rejected by companies or not receiving job offers. Instead of thinking of it as rejection, the professor told him to think of it as a mismatch. It’s not that the company dislikes you as a human being or that you are terribly unqualified, it’s that something just wasn’t compatible, and they were looking for something else.
SO TRUE. Thinking about it this way is so relieving. So after he shared with me this epiphany, I had my own epiphany, realizing we can apply this truth to a ton of other life situations, including relationships and people.
I know nobody likes rejection, but the way I fear rejection is ridiculous. When I like someone, I can’t even admit to myself that I like them because 1) I rarely have the balls to make a move 2) If I don’t make the move, I just expect them to 3) And if they happen not to make a move, I take it as pure rejection 4) I give up and then my feelings get hurt when nothing even ever happened or existed and it was very much inside of my head. The few times I actually have been bold enough to do anything, I usually am upright rejected. But I took it as they hate me or I’m just not good enough. But it really isn’t that. It’s that we didn’t match, and we weren’t compatible. When people have liked me, but it wasn’t reciprocated on my side, it’s not because I detest them as a human being, It’s because something there didn’t click. (At least that’s what I’m telling myself).
My point is, rejection shouldn’t be taken personally. There are other companies out there that you will match, and there is somebody out there that you will be compatible with. It is much harder to imagine when you see other people getting jobs or when you see other people finding their significant others, and you remain single for, oh, twenty-one years. But it’s not rejection based on anything personal. For whatever reason, it wasn’t meant to be, and if it was, that time will come.
Also, kind of related to that, I don’t know if it’s because my fear of rejection has diminished considerably or if it’s because I’m a college senior, but pretty much every night that I’ve been intoxicated, I’ve confessed my four year crush or my extensive attraction to people. And as much as I want to high-five myself in the face the next morning, it’s very liberating. Food for thought.