Can somebody please tell me when it became cool to be mean?
I don’t know if it’s specific to New York City or our age, but I’ve been noticing more and more that these people I know to be kind, choose to act coarsely or rudely.
There are some people who are genuinely cold or mean, but I generally try to keep my distance. But I get this weird feeling that a lot of the people around me and strangers I run into aren’t bad people, but they choose to bite.
I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve been told to “stop talking” or been ridiculed in front of a group of people. Like…what was that for?! But I generally brush it off because it’s usually not worth my time, am I right?! I’m told constantly to stand up for myself and oh my good god, if I hear that I’m “too nice” one more time, I think I might lose it.
What the fuck is wrong with being too nice? I understand that I can’t say no and that I let people take advantage of me, but I’d like to think that I’m confident enough to deal with it. I’d rather be kind any day. However, it is exhausting to hear that I should be meaner all the time.
The world is a tough place to live but I don’t think I’ll ever believe that it’s cool to be mean. I feel myself telling stories of how I stood up for myself and completely bitched out a stranger or cab driver, applauded by my peers for being a tough cookie and finally developing that edge. I rarely hear or feel the need to tell stories of kindness. Was it always like this? Is it just me?
I truly don’t believe confidence is determined by being able to be rude. I do believe that one should not give any fucks, but I don’t think not giving a fuck means being mean to the people around you. I believe our default should be kindness. Normally it doesn’t bother me this much because I realize that people are going through their own shit and this may be a way of dealing with their own insecurities, but a little bit of self-awareness doesn’t hurt.
So seriously, I really don’t think it’s cool to be mean, but if that’s the trend, can people explain it to me? Because it’s driving me nuts. Does kindness show weakness??
That’s my rant for the week. My point is, it’s just as important to be kind as it is to be smart or successful or confident. TGIF for real.
As a reward for reading this, here is some food from a lovely bruch at Park Avenue Autumn. I was extremely hungover that afternoon and was not completely there, but the two people I was with were still very NICE about it. And the food was delicious.